Shouting Silences

2011-03-19T03:29:00.000-07:00

Doc has finally given a thumbs up! The knee is just fine.

Time to open THE can. (Wouldn't be happier opening a Moyet Grand Champagne!). Heavenly grass, clear blue skies, newly strung sheep gut and wonderfully beatable opponents at the other side of the net!

The perfect day for a perfect game. Off I go!

ISB Diaries - The Offer

2011-03-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

26 days to the time when i will enter the hallowed portals of ISB.

The sense of achievement was profound when i stood on the pathways outside the 90 MG office of Standard Chartered Bank and broke the news to my parents and some of my closest friends. I read the holy mail a zillion times before coming to terms with it. Yes i have made it to the school of my dreams. I did not know whether the happiness emanating from the thought of resigning from the dreary corporate banking role was greater or the admission itself.

It was like getting it all in one shot. The agony of always going to the number 2 school on my list throughout my life was up in the smoke. At 23, I would be one of the youngest ever to make it to the school. All while my counterparts just out of DSchools of the world are fumbling to gather "quality" work ex to become eligible to apply to this school. Aah sweet revenge!

Meanwhile another challenge on the horizon is to survive ISB. Do I have any game plan? Not yet. All I know is that it's going to be one hell of a match.

MUMBAI (PART 1)

2008-08-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

And she never saw the the daylight again.....

No, this is not the tragic ending of one of those ubiquitous stories. This is what i have been going through since i landed up in Mumbai.

I come from a place where umbrellas are meant for protection against sunlight. Monsoon is an eagerly awaited, hardly encountered phenomenan. And when the rains do come, the entire city takes an off. Work is forgotten, school is bunked, household chores are abandoned and families venture out for elaborate picnics.

Two weeks in Mumbai have completely changed my concept of monsoons.

The red umberella has now found a permanent place in my life. Sunglasses have made a silent retreat.

Fungus has become an unbeatable enemy. Plastic ,my greatest ally.

Weather prediction has become an obsessive passion, wading through the streets, the greatest sport.

It amazes me that how easily and conveniently rains have become a part of my natural habitat and i no longer gasp when i look out of my window.

But all this aside, a resounding irony exists.

"Water water everywhere, nor any drop to drink"

-Rime of the Ancient Mariner

(Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

Yes. Though i am adjusting myself to this abundance of water in my life, there is an acute water shortage in my building.

Way to go BMC..!

THE BREAK UP

2008-07-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

This is the end.
Today, after 5 years of going steady with you, i have decided to call it off.
Don't think that just because you are going through a low phase, i am chickening out. I don't mind you losing to him , be it ocassionally or often. It wouldn't have mattered if i could have atleast seen you fighting it out, like the warrior you used to be, that i so aesthetically worshipped and loved. Last time you did it, i thought i should give you another chance. Probably it was one of those bad days. You are human afterall. But this time you have left me ashamed and shattered. I can't go on defending you in front of this world forever. Especially now that i have myself started doubting you.

What happens to you when you see him? Why do you suddenly become this docile lamb ? Your legs stop moving , your face turns white and your body starts betraying fear. FEAR. That is something i never thought could overpower you. You know when i saw you for the first time , what pulled me towards you? Your eyes. They exuded fearlessness, a promise to bring the world to me. I knew you were the one. And soon the roller coaster ride began.

I can't deny that you have given me the best moments of my life. And i couldn't have loved you more for it. Those round the world trips with you were sheer adrenaline. France, Australia, England, America. I couldn't have asked for more. You kept all your promises, fulfilled all my desires. I couldn't have been more proud of you.
It wouldn't have mattered if he was actually better than you. But he is NOT. And this is my problem. People often say 'i could have done that' or 'i should have been number one', but that makes absolutely no sense. If you have it in you , prove it. Show it to the world.

Now i would have to tell you something which i am afraid would break your heart. Yes, it is him. The one who haunts you day and night and the one who is your biggest rival . I know you have suspected it for some time. But please understand that i couldnt help it. It just happened.

Well by the time I am finished with this letter, you would have lost the Wimbledon and of course me.

Your loving fan
Tanaya

TENNIS TIPS

2008-06-03T13:27:00.000-07:00

These are some indispensable tips for all the unfortunate tennis players with underdeveloped (read: absolutely miserable) serving skills like me.

1. While serving, tap the ball at least 20 times, then on the 21st time, pretend that you couldn’t catch the ball and begin the lengthy process again (after all i need to get my rhythm right..! )

2. Now finally toss the ball but 5 times higher than normal. Catch the ball and give your opponent a sheepish grin(sigh..today is just not my day)

3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 till your opponent's face starts turning a brilliant red (now now..relax dude..i swear i am not doing this on purpose.!)

4. Now if your aim is good, toss the ball, pretend losing your balance and let the ball drop on your shoe to rush in a crazy random direction. (ball..!what's wrong with you..??)

5. With a look of disbelief, rush towards the ball. (ball..! i am going to kill you..!)

6. As you near the ball, let it get kicked by your “clumsy” foot, sending it speeding to the farthest corner of the court(ball..! i am going to completely wipe off any traces of your worthless existense from the face of this earth..!)

7. Spend a good 5 minutes looking for the “lost” ball and then call out to your opponent, “hey buddy could you help me out!!”(grass.! i know you have swallowed the ball!!)

8. As soon as the opponent, muttering incoherent things, starts coming towards you, give a yelp of sheer ecstasy, raise your hand with the ball in it like the Wimbledon trophy and yell -"got it dude!!" (sob..i have lived for this moment..!!)

9. Get into the serving position; give a look of supreme concentration then suddenly look down and start the aboriginal dance to try stamping the imaginary insect trying to climb your feet. Smile with smugness after having “crushed “the distracter. (ahem..!)

10. Now with fire in your eyes and a Venus William look on your face, shoot your 20 km per hour serve and watch it whoosh past the disgruntled opponent. (sob sob sob..this is the greatest moment of my entire life..!!)

Go home and tell dad how many aces you hit and watch his face break into proud smiles (just for you dad :))

THE MONOLOGUE

2008-05-28T03:20:00.000-07:00

I speak and he listens

My eyes sparkling, face animated, hands moving in every direction.
I go on and on, my mind frantically trying to recollect the tiniest of details, determined not to miss anything.

I speak and he listens

He listens with rapt attention, looking intently into my eyes, with an occasional nod at the right places, as if here lays the purpose of his existence.

I speak and he listens

Sometimes looking in his eyes while speaking, I wonder. Is this an act, a facade? Wherein his mind lies elsewhere. Perhaps at this very moment, thinking what to buy for Neha’s birthday or when to get his guitar fixed.

I speak and he listens

Looking in his eyes, I see attentiveness; I see tenderness, and a hint of something even close to fascination. The shadow of doubt disappears.
The monologue continues

I speak and he listens

SENGU..

2008-05-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

Rumpled tee,cherubic smile and a halo of curly black hair limning her head..that gleam of mischief in her eye..that "take me away" look that can melt the harshest of hearts..her lame jokes and lousy one liners that fail to conceal a logical and sensible mind..those waves of procrastination that create havoc in her life and leave her "disillusioned" from "marxist theories" and "hume's philosophies"..those moments of introspection and a firm "i am going to change my ways in life" , all in vain..i thank my stars that this adorable rogue rejected her life in Cal to come all the way to Miranda House and gave me the joy of having a little sister

Obituary

2008-03-06T08:56:00.000-08:00

We have gathered here today to say goodbye to a jewel on this earth, Tanya.

Tanya did economics honors from Delhi university (90%), Masters in economics from Delhi School of economics (89%), MBA from Wharton business school and Phd from University of Pennsylvania.

She presented world famous papers at IMF, World Bank and UN. She was the economic advisor of 22 nations and chairperson of 46 international committees (both on economic affairs and matters of heart). Tanya won the noble prize for her poverty elimination theory in 2020.

She moved in the international political circles of the world with ease. But not forgetting her duty as a true patriot, she introduced land reforms in Vidharbha, which completely eliminated the farmer suicidal problem and saved millions of lives.
She recently finished her autobiography “an economist remembers”, which instantly became a best seller beating all previous records, even the records set by all Harry Potter books taken together.

She would be desperately missed by the Presidents of most nations for her intellect and her beauty (most presidents got divorced when she was their economic advisor. Coincidence??). Many eligible bachelors have already committed suicide in the hope of accompanying her to the gates of heaven.

She is survived by her husband (again a world famous economist, Prince of Jodhpur, look alike Johnny Depp) and a daughter (currently dating son of Prince Harry).
She shall live in our hearts.(tears)
(applause)

2008-01-10T23:18:00.000-08:00

i am writing this in a complete state of exasperation..not having slept for 4 days in a row today..not even a WINK..forced to work till the 25 th hour of the day..my mind is in a perennialy confused state..caffeine has turned into an acute addiction..pigouvian taxes and metzler paradoxes hound me all day..words have started dancing..dyslexia isnt too far away..
i am drifting apart...far away from this world..
hope i survive

Ageing Blues

2007-10-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

I am fast approaching my 20th bday and everybody has been reminding me how old I am getting. Mom constantly telling me how all her friends tell her "how time flies! Our twiki is turning 20!!". My friends collectively mourning the departure from teens.

What is this about leaving the teens, getting old and stuff? I mean isn’t it something inevitable, bound to happen anyways. Why can't people accept the fact quietly and without the entire drum beating.

I dont have issues with growing up (as long as i m on the right side of the 20s that is!). I mean i sometimes think those teen years were actually a pain. People manipulating you, leading you on, fooling you all the time. I mean yes, two years back, I really used to get influenced by those Preity Zinta ads, showing how shiny and voluptuous her hair became after using a particular brand of shampoo. Now looking back at that time I feel how immature I was. How my opinions and ideas weren’t really my own but so heavily influenced by others.

With age comes experience. But again this is an unending process. Because when after few years, I look back to where I am today, I‘ll again feel I was immature in some other aspect.(I still cant help swooning over that sexy cell endorsed by Abhishek Bachchan!) So basically, ageing really isn’t decay but a process of growth.

The people who can be often heard lamenting their adding years and complaing "how I wish I was 25 again" are, I think, the ones who have had unfulfilling lives. They were actually too busy battling over getting older and thus weren’t able to really live their lives. And so they want to go back and live those years. Well, wouldn’t it be better to accept this ageing process and do so gracefully? There is always a lot more to do, to see, to learn in life, rather than look back and mourn.

So well, I am going to embrace my 20th bday with full enthusiasm and with the belief that I am actually getting wiser and smarter!

Seasoned me

2007-08-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Brown and bare
an autumned tree
Or a bird
Fickle and merry

Red and cruel
the summer sun
Or the ocean
deep and glum

White and cold
the winter sky
Or a cloud
flying high

Green and wet
world sings with glee
Pure and fresh
spring I shall be

masti#$!^

2007-08-07T23:53:00.001-07:00

Last night, with absolutely nothing to do, me and my friends decided to do some “productive” work. The work was that we would list down some movies and against them some celebrities that we associate with the movies. The rules were clear. No one was allowed to take more than 5 seconds to answer. That lead to some hilarious comparisons but that was the whole point. so here goes.

SARKAR- Bal Thackrey (the champion of the downtrodden)

(Imposed)MOTHER (on) INDIA – Sonia Gandhi (brilliant one)

KRISHH – Baba ramdev (well well those dizzying rotations of the stomach and the 200 ways of twisting of the body would shame even hritik)

GHULAM – Manmohan Singh (for very obvious reasons)

DUM – Ganguly (he’s a fighter for sure. not very easy to make a comeback in your veteran years)

RAJABABU – Bhajji (lol..No particular logic but that’s what came to my mind in 5 seconds)

GURU – Narendra modi (I really admire him)

A BEAUTIFUL MIND – Ratan Tata (not referring to the schizophrenia stuff..its in the literal sense)

PAGE 3 – Amar Singh (the biggest wannabe)

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER – Shakti Kapoor (naughty boy..We know everything, courtesy the news channel. I know it “stings”..Haha)

UMRAO JAAN – Vasundhra raje (our beloved and colorful CM..mwaaah!!)

And last but not the least

MUNNABHAI – Lalu Prasad yadav (he holds a special appeal..lol..A messiah of the poor plus an adorable rogue. Some love him. Others detest him. But you just can’t get enough of him!!)

coming home

2007-07-17T08:24:00.000-07:00

After spending days sulking and dreading 17th july,i finally arrived at the hostel.My spirits were very low as i entered the cage(yeah not joking,thats wat the hostel gates r officially known as).The moment i stepped inside i noticed a lot of changes.The old gatekeeper hd been replaced by a giant dark fellow,who glared at me nd asked for my id..what the hell!!no one had dared asked me that in my two years in the hostel!!dumb man..i m in third year understand..oh o sorry naya hun,he said..to main kya karu..gosh i ws in a temper..

Then i saw stupid new faces staring at me..ok i ws luking funny carrying a zillion bags..but how dare they!!dumb freshers..the gate keeper finally came to my rescue nd carried my stuff to my room..umm b-22..i had never in my life seen something so dusty(moreover i hv a severely allergic to dust)).No cleaners wer in view..muttering curses i picked up the broom nd started the task of cleaning up(sneezes)i finally unpacked nd made my bed n all(more sneezes)
i ws feeling so greasy nd dirty by the end of it..i decided that i needed a break or i wud kill myself(frm the continuous sneezing).

As i was walking in the corridors i luked up,the beautiful victorian archways luked back at me as if in welcome.Then i noticed the bay window wich had been my favourite hangout in the last 2 yrs.I went nd sat on it.something stirred in me as i sat there luking at the perfect symmetry of palm trees,the lush green lawns and the variety of flowers blooming in neat rows..On the other side were the beautiful clay courts i adored..some of my batchmates luked at me n waved shouting greetings..nd the warden.. i swear she luked up nd winked at me..
hey this is my abode..ahem..i m the super senior here..this is my hostel..
i got up and strolled back towards my room,a huge grin on my face.......i 'm home

THE FATEFUL LOVE

2007-07-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

Should I, Could I
Would I really dare?
What if your adorations
Lie elsewhere

Your eye, your smile
They betray some affection?
Or is it my lovelorn heart
Conjuring a false vision

I think, I reflect
I ponder and speculate
Months passby
The decision has been made

I blush, I sigh
I near the destination
My heart pounds wild
Tingling with anticipation

The shock, the pain
The shattering of my dream
They stood hand in hand
I made a silent retreat

the soldier's lament

2007-07-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

In a sea of blood
and wails of tears
I glided through
searching for life

Death loomed
far and near
Not one pulse
reached my ear

But there he was
with a look of fear
Crawling silently
to the nearest lair

My hopes rose
i have some work here
but stopped short
it was the enemy's face

Blackened flesh
and blood smeared
I contemplated
should i turn him over

A man,a son
for some so dear
With pleading eyes
begging for mercy

Pondering his fate
i could not gather
the courage to go
against the nature

I heard it then
it rang in my ear
It pierced his heart
i said a small prayer

Enemy he was
i said over and over
This is a war
why should i care

Those dead eyes
they haunt me ever
Will sleep elude me
now and forever